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"I think I love her"


Guy in Nigeria - “I love you, honestly, from my heart, it is genuine. I love you.” 
Me - " 👀Bruh, you just met me yesterday though, what’s my last name?" 
Guy - "I know that I love you, you have to believe me."
Me - "Sooo, you don't remember my last name." 
Me - 🏃🏃🏃

God took his time when creating the Nigerian Man. Since I’ve been back in Nigeria, the number one question or comment I get is in relation to men, specifically, if I’ve found my husband. To answer the question, no, I haven’t so you can all get off my case. Thanks!

Though I’m yet to find my husband, it seems I have been dubbed the wife of many men in this country. They meet me, they profess their love and want to wed tomorrow. Omo, I no get time abeg, move on. Nigerian men or should I say African men (yes I’m making a generalization of an entire continent from my encounter with those from two or three countries from said continent, read on) are very quick to profess their “love” after your first hello. And I mean your first hello. I met a guy in school and the next day he told me he seriously liked and was in love with me. Yeah, nah player. I ran away.

Now, I’m not sure if they truly love you or if it’s because we are in a place that glorifies weddings and marriages over all things but it’s extremely weird for someone who doesn’t know your last name to say I’m in love with you after your first meeting. And don’t come at me with that, “it’s love at first sight” nonsense, cause it’s not. To me it doesn’t make sense, but hey, I could just be a cynical woman, bitter at the world because she hasn’t found her husband yet and still has to sit in a classroom for 7 hours a day. But I seriously doubt that. I’m not bitter. Cynical yes, but bitter, no.

Wanting to get married and start a family is not a bad idea or goal but damn can it not be my final goal in life? Like can marriage and family be a part of my many goals in life? I have dreams outside of the typical, marry and have babies’ narrative. I want to travel, I want to impact the global community, I want to be a bomb lawyer, I want to find a cure for shrinkage. But it seems that no matter how accomplished you are as a woman, you have done nothing until you “find a good man and settle down.” This narrative is extremely toxic in the sense that it drives men to prematurely say things they don’t mean because they know that’s what the lady wants to hear. Then the ladies, with our emotional selves, fall for lies and are trapped in a crazy marriage. Obviously this does not apply to all but it applies to most. I hear that being in love, truly in love, is beautiful. I want to believe that beauty comes from working hard on that relationship, not just a whim. I want my future relationship to be like a beautiful garden, you work hard on it, you toil and at the end of the season you sit back and enjoy the results.


That’s all I have for now, I’ll do better and post more. I promise!!

Comments

  1. Unknown30 November 2017 at 23:55

    Yassssss honey!! Let them know

    ReplyDelete
  2. Raychel23 May 2020 at 11:59

    Lol.
    While we await your cure for shrinkage. Let me stand in solidarity with your publishing of the ludicrous profession of love by African men.
    I mean we all aspire to be like Jesus but how do you love someone you don't know? Osi ginni?
    Once a guy does that, I cancel him! Immediately!
    I mean I've had over twenty years of knowing 'Life' and I'm yet to decide if I like him and you come and tell me you love me in microseconds.
    Just shift😏😏

    ReplyDelete

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