The Fat Girl That Went To Nigeria

When I made the decision to start blogging, I was certain about everything but the name. Some of you may not know this but, I am not that creative so creating a name for a blog was beyond me. BUT GAWD (read in church lady voice) intervened!! He placed the title right in my head and it made perfect sense. The fat girl that went to Nigeria, was exactly who I was. I was a girl who went to Nigeria and was called fat. I’m not here to body shame myself or get sympathy over my weight, I am just here to repeat what was said to me, about me.

My return to Nigeria 2013

When I left Nigeria in 2000, I was barely nine years old. I did not return to Nigeria again until summer 2013. When I came back, all who saw me exclaimed at how “big” I had gotten. At first, I thought it was a statement to my physical growth, from a 9-year-old girl to a 22-year-old woman (at the time) but boy was I wrong. I found out when I returned in 2016 that I was extremely fat in 2013, and was  now moderately fat in 2016. I always knew I was not the smallest stick in the bunch but I never classified myself in the fat category. However, to the many Nigerians I came across, I was fat and needed to lose weight immediately or else, who would marry me. (Cries in meat pie and doughnut box) Those who saw me in 2013 complimented me on my weight loss. Lol! Apparently I had dropped some weight between 2013 and 2016 (thank God, there’s hope for me after all). However, those who missed me in 2013 kept harping on my weight.

Fun ways I was called fat

The way people told me I was fat was amazing. It was like “hi Ekib, GOD you’re FAT!” No ‘how are you?’ ‘What’s up?’ ‘Oh I heard you graduated and became a licensed attorney, congratulations!’ None of that, it was just “My God, you’re fat!”

My cousin, who was eight months pregnant at the time, saw me for the first time in seventeen years and as she reached out to hug me she said “Ekib, you’re too big please don’t add any more weight.” Thanks Cuz!!

My night back in my home city, Calabar  (2016)

A friend of my cousin who clearly remembered me and was clearly bigger than me, informed me that I was too fat in 2013 but thank God I was cutting down. She then preceded to raid my box to find clothes that she could take from me. I politely told her that if anything in my box fit her, that meant she too was fat and we should diet together. Was that mean? Oh well. I’m not bothered, back to my meat pie and puff puffs.

Another lady, who is close to my other cousin upon first meeting me told me that I should start joining my cousin and her at the gym because I needed to cut down. Mind you, I don’t know this woman and I was just meeting her. But every time I see her, I get a feeling that she’s not too pleased about my appearance. Granted I’ve only seen her twice, but she left an impression. Lol! Funny thing is, my cousin and I now go to the gym and I’m yet to see her.

A lady at the market selling professional jackets looked me up and down and said, “I don’t have your size,” when asked if I could try on a jacket. I said “are you sure?” while holding a jacket that was clearly my size. She said “yes.” As I took off my kimono to try on something from a different shop, she rushes up to me and says, “oh, you no fat ohhh. Na your cloth wey make you look fat. Come I get jacket for you, you fit wear this one.” I politely told her, “nah, I’m good.” Like girl what, if you don’t get out of my face with that. I was already hot and tired, then she pissed me off when she made that statement.

Return to the Village circa 2016

My aunt in the village around Christmas told me that I had gotten extremely fat. When she saw me two months later, she said I had lost too much weight and needed to stop. Mind you, I don’t think I had lost a single pound. Lol

My granddad giving me the Ray Charles test (2013)

But the best way was when my grandfather, who is blind by the way, did the Ray Charles* test on me and said “what kind of fat is this?” I couldn’t even be mad at him because he is my grandpa, he is the oldest man in the village, and he was laughing so I too had to laugh. But my blind uncle did push my breast and called me fat.

I honestly think it’s nobody’s business what size I am. It would be different if they were genuinely concerned about my health or well-being but the fact that it was so rudely stated by all really made me upset. I’ve always wanted to tighten up but never because I thought I was morbidly obese but since I came back, I’ve become extremely body conscious. Well with all that being said, I’ve joined a local gym and I’m pretty proud of myself. Only issue now is that some who said I was fat, are telling me that I’m losing too much weight. *insert confused emoji*

What’s the lesson here? You can’t please everybody, do you, be great, and leave the naysayers on the side of the road.

Flips Hair, walks away! I can't be worried :) 

*The Ray Charles test if you don’t know comes from the movie Ray. In the movie, Ray Charles would squeeze the women’s wrist to tell if they were fat or not. If they were not fat (according to his standards), they could hang with Ray, but if they were fat, they could hit the road.